The Ideal Husband
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
[Excerpt from Guru Kaur's blog on the Be the Woman... Private Online Community for women...]
There are a number of recurring themes to the questions I get asked. Probably taking the number one spot is "I want a man". The question comes in all shapes and sizes, dressed up with a stiff shirt collar or baggy jeans, but underneath, in its naked truth, it looks like this: "someday my Prince will come.... won't he?" This summer we've had not only a glut of strawberries and soft fruit but also of Royal weddings, which just like London buses, you can wait ages for then they all come along at once. And what fairy tales they have been! Kate (Middleton), Charlene, Kate (Moss) and Zara - it's been a veritable designer Olympics. And just as we're already seeing copies of the wedding (and bridesmaid) dresses appearing on the streets, women are now searching out the right man to dress up for the day and live with, so they hope, for the rest of their lives.
Over the years I've taught lots of Men Only workshops, most notably as Angels Prefer Gentlemen, teaching them how to grow up and stand as a man. It's challenging stuff, but hugely rewarding too. What they learn is for their ears only, but I will let you eavesdrop just a little, if you really want. They learn what women want, and when she's happy, you're happy. Simple.
Somehow inherently most women know that a man of calibre, the type you'd actually commit to spend the rest of your life with, is a rare breed indeed. Here's the beginner's guide to spotting one:
- How does he treat the women in his life? His mother, sisters, friends' spouses. Would you like him to treat you like that?
- Does he turn up on time for you and not complain if you're a bit late?
- What's he passionate about? Does he stick at it?
- How does he talk? How does he listen?
- What are his manners like?
- Does he have a life plan, which includes yours, or just a space for a woman to fill?
- Is he awe-inspiring or frightening? Can you tell it to him straight?
- Is he who you think he is?
- Will he remove spiders?
- Will he move heavy objects?
The last two may sound a little frivolous because they are the punchline from that email which did the rounds years ago about what are the uses for a man and a woman. A woman has thousands of them - making dinner from an empty fridge when hoards of friends turn up, you know that type of thing - running to several pages by the time the email got to me. The uses of a man were just those last two: spiders and heavy objects. Yet they tell you everything.
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