 Put a collar on a dog, open the door, and a question faces you: "whose life do you lead?" As a woman this is particularly relevant because many of us were brought up with confusing beliefs about what it is to enjoy life as a woman.
For the last month or so, we've been watching lots of old episodes of the Dog Whisperer, with Cesar Millan. He is a global treasure not just to the dog world but to the human and angelic ones too. I know many people who don't even own dogs but who are avid fans of Cesar and his programme.
He is a great icon, combining those rare qualities of mastery and humility to give a man around whom everyone relaxes. He commands with authority; he doesn't demand with bossiness, nor whimper for sympathy. He just is a natural leader.
He also dreamt big and now his dreams are true and in service to the world. If you think that his message is only about dogs then you've entirely missed the point: it is about leading your life.
His main theme is that dogs need a pack leader. Translate into Be the Woman... speak as every environment needs a powerful woman.
Every dog needs to receive, in this order, exercise, discipline and then affection. Affection includes feeding. Translate into Be the Woman... speak as every being needs exercise, self-discipline and self-love.
Every dog needs to be calm and submissive to feel relaxed and for that they need a leader who is calm and assertive (not aggressive). Translate as a woman who is calm and relaxed at all times creates a calm and relaxed atmosphere where anything is possible.
If you want to become the pack leader then no eye contact, no touch and no talking. It's a trick that I've used many times to create space around me, not only with the dogs in the park. Yogi Bhajan was a total master of this trick and would regularly ignore people around him who were out of line. Then when the positioning is established, create the relationship. Translate to Be the Woman... language and it is silence, silence, silence.
When you need to discipline a dog, make your hand into a mouth shape and nip it on the side of the neck the way its own mother would have done. Dogs need boundaries, rules and limitations. Translate as a mother teaches her offspring by containing the expansion. Not to do so is irresponsible.
Dogs live in the moment, they don't know a whole load of personal history about why their owner is weak emotionally. Translate as show your strengths to the world and deal with your insecurities based on your past.
Cesar Millan says that it is his dogs who are his teachers because they reflect back to him straight how he is. If he's not calm and assertive, relaxed and comfortable as himself, then they respond accordingly; dogs play on your weaknesses. This is one of the greatest gifts which I have received from Millie-Pup: when I am not relaxed and feeling secure she plays up. There's no pretending. The relationship is based on truth.
Many of the dogs which Cesar deals with in his programme are what he calls Gladiator Breeds, the pit bulls, rottweilers, bulldogs of the world. He loves it to see a woman leading these breeds because he sees that powerful women are the future. A woman's strength is her presence, and leading dogs is through presence. Yesterday in the park, Millie-Pup and I witnessed two women, each with a Pit Bull/Staff cross unable to control their dogs. One had a long leather lead which pulled its owner along so much that her heels left skid marks in the grass. The woman's reaction was to shout abuse at the dog. It was not just to the dog that she appeared weak, insecure and a follower. She had no grace.
Millie-Pup is not a Gladiator Breed, but she is feisty and angelic, agile and a natural leader. Being with her has brought me a much more graceful approach to living.
Apart from his dog whispering mastery, Cesar Millan is a Man. He was voted the man that most women would like to meet. Why is that? Yes, he's physically attractive, very fit, successful and all the usual. But there's something else. He shows respect, and he's earned respect by living his dream with no excuses. He embodies victory in the world, he never is a victim. He accepts 100% responsibility for his life, and those of his dogs, and acts accordingly. He is responsive, not reactionary. He leads. He leads his life. Because he knew where he wanted to go and has made it happen. That is his confidence, his trust in the process of life. |
